...And a year and a half later, I decide to come back to it.
I got a comment notification email a couple days ago from someone I've never met, and I have absolutely no idea how she found me, but it was encouraging and uplifting and just the nudge I needed to un-abandon my blog. (Thanks, Toyah. I was confused but very touched, and I'm glad this all is worth something to someone other than me.) I'd already been thinking lately about the sort of things I usually write here, my motivations for self-examination and sharing, and wondering whether or not to come back and post some more.
I hesitated to come back, because, well, blogs are kinda silly, "for people who like to hear themselves type" as David once put it. But I've got all these thoughts, and writing them all out can only help me sort through them and maybe figure out the things I've been missing, so why not? I'm not going to start anything too big tonight, seeing as it's already pretty late, but I've got (eek!) a poem that I've been staring at for a couple hours now, and I thought I'd share. It's really just a rough draft, but I couldn't say right now if anything more will come of it any time soon. This all just sort of fell out of my head as is, and I've got a strong suspicion I won't like it much in the morning and will feel the need to pick it to pieces, but for the moment, I have no idea what to do to improve it. So:
An Inquiry into the Basic Nature of Fluids –
Water Flowing Apart
I wanted to know if water
scooped from a stream
knows what it’s lost
or does it just feel
smaller
diminished, not divided
content to fill a space
no memory of the flow
when the pitcher is poured
and you and I each hold a glass
do they know each other
sitting side by side
you could have taught me or
together we might have learned
but you’re so certain
a watchmaker’s wasted hauling water
water measured in sips and spills
must be the loneliest of all
Sunday, August 09, 2009
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2 comments:
Today I saw an unfamiliar sight: a blog by the title of “purge” showed up on my Google Reader. Though trivial in some respects, it is usually brightens my day to read a good friend’s blog (probably because I read far too many blogs written by people I am non-acquainted with). Laura and I were just discussing the value in blogging; a medium we declared far more suitable for me with my abstract theories and creative projects than for her more personal journaling. In any case (for entirely selfish reasons), I do hope you keep it up.
Your poem is great by the way. Let’s see if any of Laura’s poetry analysis rubbed off on me. I really like the scientific (fluid dynamics and such) and philosophical ground (part and whole and such) that form the foundation of the poem (not to mention the awesome title). It seems to carry a story, some relational experience as well as a tone of disappointment. Maybe the awareness that one’s self is cut off from the larger flow of truth or maybe the frustrations that come with a long distance relationship. And that all I got.
Also thanks for the complement on the frames. This weekend I learned that something as simple as a picture frame is incredibly complicated when you have limited tools.
Make sure Laura knows that she has superpowers. That's all you got?! The only major thematic element I intended to invoke that you missed is the archetypal likening of water to emotion and the unconscious, and I imagine that's because I didn't really do that good a job of it.
Seriously, that's the most intelligent, reasoned response I've had to any of my poetry outside of a workshop. I'm surprised that much came through in the first, clumsy draft. I've made some additions and revisions already, and I'll be sure to share another version once I've made some more progress. You were right, it is intended to be narrative, but I'm always very bad at that. We'll see if it ever comes through more clearly.
Yeah, the title is pretty awesome, huh? Livvy and I have a running joke about giving scientific papers titles more appropriate to poems and vice-versa. I considered something about surface tension, but it's kinda ponderously scientific and I couldn't quite make it work.
And now I have a comment that's almost longer than my original post, so I'll stop. Thanks for reading, and actually analyzing a poem(!!) for me. You seriously just made my day.
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